Pavla: Oh man, you know what happened to me today?

Tim: What happened? I though you were looking a bit weird.

Pavla: I should bloody well think so, I’ve just found out something really gross. Not only did my old man leave us, but he was a bloody Russian!

Tim: Pull the other one! What do you mean, Russian?

Pavla: I’m telling you, a Russian guy! I only just found it out today.

Tim: Hang on. How does that kind of thing just suddenly pop up, out of the blue?

Pavla: I had to sort out some papers for my ID pass, including my birth certificate. It was only the first time I’d properly read it, and dad was written there as a Russian, or Ruthenian, or something like that.

Tim: Oh, well that’ll be Ruthenian then, they lived here. That’s not the same as Russian, is it?

Pavla: Come off it, there’s no difference. He wasn’t a proper Czech.

Tim: So what’s a proper Czech in your opinion?

Pavla: Well, somebody who at least has Czech nationality.

Tim: Hmm, I’m not so sure about that. I mean, what is nationality? I’ve never had to fill that out anywhere, and to be honest, I don’t even know what I’d write.

Pavla: You don’t know what you’d write??

Tim: Well, I’d have to have two, maybe, but that’s stupid. I just don’t understand why it’s important.

Pavla: Because we live in the Czech Republic, innit? So it’s good that people live here who are Czech citizens, no?

Tim: Well, I don’t know what nationality I have - but d’you mean I should have to leave if I’m not only Czech?

Pavla: No, not you. But the fact my old man was a sodding foreigner gets on my tits.

Tim: I wouldn’t give a shit if I were you. What’s crap is that your dad treated you badly, not that he was Ruthenian. If he’d been Czech, he wouldn’t necessarily have acted any better, know what I mean?